Paulette J Burr Nikas Obituary (1946

“The world’s greatest life companion – she was loved dearly.” [Robert Hicken] Paulette J Burr was born with a congenital heart defect on March 10, 1946, to Jesse A. and Joan (McFadden) Burr, she began a very physically challenging journey. Along with fiery red hair, she had a fiery spirit (and temper) that would serve her Cinderella-like story well. Following open heart surgery, her newfound energy required an outlet, so at the age of three, she was enrolled in Provo’s Performing Arts School under the tutelage of Colleen Collins Smith. Despite her tumultuous home life, she spent so many happy years learning ballet and lived to perform. When an opportunity arose to dance for the Utah Civic Ballet (which later became Ballet West), she was unable to travel to Salt Lake City which sparked a rebellious streak. Becoming pregnant at 15, Paulette married Merrill Lynn Mathews in August 1961, and by April 1962 they welcomed a son. Pregnant again at 18, she was unexpectedly widowed when a tragic drowning accident took Lynn’s life. Overwhelmed, she returned to the loving arms of her grandparents, Theron and Pauline McFadden. Eventually, she would return to dancing and perform with the BYU Folk Dancers team under Mary Bee Jensen. Paulette would later remarry and have four more children, losing one daughter in childbirth. Her parenting years were challenging, and by her own admission, she lacked the necessary skills to support a loving, healthy environment, and she neglected her own mental health. In later years, she said “I was a very good BAD example.” Unknowingly, she actually taught us valuable lessons in parenting, acceptance, patience, humor, and love. At 32, a medically necessary hysterectomy nearly took her life on the operating table. The doctor claimed she sat up and yelled “I am too going to live!” which scared him half to death (and if you knew Paulette, you knew she found this hilarious). At 39, after suffering years of mental and emotional abuse by her parents and her then spouse, she was facing a bitter divorce. Migraines and seizures followed, eventually revealing a brain tumor. She was no longer able to work, and without spousal or child support, she and her two youngest sons found themselves on welfare. A brief time later she suffered the loss of a kidney. After having a major falling out with her biological father, being adopted by Anthony W Nikas (her mother’s husband), being raped by an acquaintance, and battling Utah’s welfare system, she finally sought therapy for her mental health. [Kudos, Mom!] Her “wild and crazy” sister, Susan, made everyone laugh… especially Paulette. These sisters had periods of shenanigans that were as shocking as they were entertaining! But when Paulette became a grandmother for the first time in February 1987 and again in April 1989, she found a new purpose in life. Realizing she would soon be the “matriarch” of her family, she began a course of self-improvement. She was determined to make up for earlier shortcomings by being the sweetest grandma and sharing her own grandmother’s traditions. Like her grandpa before her, she loved to spoil the little ones… then shoosh them home on a sugar high. She loved to skip and hold hands while singing “We’re Off to See the Wizard” (she loved Judy Garland’s voice)… something we all remember with great fondness. In her early forties, she was introduced to the love of her life, Robert Russell Hicken (“Bob”). His love, acceptance, and cowboy logic breathed new life into her, and blessed us all by becoming our “Papa Bob.” When we learned he and Lynn were the best of friends at Provo High School decades earlier, it was as if he had been heavenly selected for this phase of Paulette’s life. Paulette said she was “raised to be a princess” which may be something only her childhood friend ReNee Berry can corroborate. She spent time with her grandparents camping and fishing at Strawberry Reservoir in the mountains of Utah (though we all have serious doubts she ever put a worm on a hook or touched a fish). She loved McFadden’s Pies (strawberry), the Kentucky Derby, chocolate cake, Broadway musicals, ballet and belly dancing, fine jewelry and “junk jewels”, the smell of rain, coffee, astrology, pickled beets, her grandpa’s roses, laughing, singing… and to hear Bob sing while he played his guitar. She loved to read novels, listen to music, and snuggle her grandbabies. Bob awoke the love of nature in Paulette. They spent much of their time at a cabin in Indianola, Utah, where riding a four-wheeler at midnight under a full moon, watching the sun set on the porch, and bathing in a horse trough was pure heaven. He cared for Paulette through challenges of Lupus, Fibromyalgia, Diabetes, and those never-ending seizures. He made sure she took her medicine on time, had a healthy diet, and made it to her appointments. A herculean task for sure – she was “stubborn as a mule!” When she suffered a stroke and needed speech and physical therapy, he was there for the long haul. During a CT scan, we learned she had three more brain tumors and respected her choice not to have surgery. The seizures grew in frequency and intensity, and her memories became completely scrambled. We chose to laugh at the way she mixed the people, places, and times in her stories – laughter was (and is) the only option. On a quiet Thursday afternoon, a final seizure and stroke would deplete Paulette. Following a short hospital stay and the realization that she would never recover, we honored her wishes and removed all life support. She drew her final breath surrounded by family on June 29, 2024. Her final wish was cremation and to be spread amongst the flowers and trees in Utah’s mountains. Although heartbroken, it is a wish we are honored to grant. To our sweet and sassy, mama… thank you for giving us life and making us laugh. Your road was not an easy one. You’ve earned this time to sing, dance, and laugh with the fairies! The family would like to thank the many doctors and nurses in Provo and Mount Pleasant, Utah, who cared for Paulette over a 78-year span (we know she was a salty and difficult patient). Thank you for ensuring she had time to learn and grow, and that her children had time to forgive and love. Thank you to Berg Mortuary of Provo for their kind and careful services. A special thank you to Bobby and Linda for your patience and acceptance, and for allowing Paulette to be a grandma to your babies (she truly loved them all). Our biggest thanks go to Papa Bob – we will forever be grateful for your ability to make our mama laugh, to grant her every wish, to calm her fears and tame her fires, to teach her patience and forgiveness, and to love us all unconditionally. Paulette leaves behind her best friend and companion, Robert R. Hicken, her children, Michael L. Mathews, Lisa K. Mathews Price (Mark), Robert R. Hicken, Jr., Wendy L. Stumph Durham (Eric), Linda Hicken Messick, Robert A. Stumph, and F. Randolph Stumph (Natalie), a brother, Jesse Martell Burr, a cousin, Reece McFadden (Jeanne), sixteen grandchildren and ten great-grandchildren. Quite amazing for someone who was told her heart was too weak to bear children! She was preceded in death by her grandparents, Theron M. and Pauline C. McFadden, LeEarl and Jennie N. Burr, parents, Jesse A. Burr, Anthony A. and Joan M. Nikas, uncles William A. McFadden and Stanley E. McFadden, a sister, Susan Bush, a daughter, Heather Ann, a husband, Merrill Lynn Mathews, and countless friends she called family. Our mother was an endless source of ridiculously funny stories! Please share your favorite stories and pictures so we may all continue to laugh – we know she’ll be laughing, too! Condolences and stories may be shared at www.bergmortuary.com. In lieu of flowers, consider a donation to the American Heart Association (https://www.heart.org/), the American Diabetes Association (https://diabetes.org/), the Lupus Foundation of America (https://www.lupus.org/), or to a charity that touches your heart.